I have several family members/friends that send me “Spam” all the time threw email. Jokes, religious stuff, you name it. Well, today I recieved the first email that made me laugh out loud.

This  has to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think  this guy should have been promoted, not fired.  This  is  a true story from the WordPerfect Helpline, which was  transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to  say  the Help Desk employee was fired;
however, he/she is currently  suing the WordPerfect organization for ‘Termination
without  Cause.’

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect  Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record  these conversations!):

Operator:        ‘Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help  you?’
Caller:              ‘Yes, well, I’m having trouble with  WordPerfect.’
Operator:         ‘What  sort of trouble??’
Caller:          ‘Well, I was just typing along, and all of  a sudden the words went away.’
Operator:         ‘Went  away?’
Caller:              ‘They disappeared’
Operator:        ‘Hmm. So what does your screen look like  now?’
Caller:              ‘Nothing.’
Operator:          ‘Nothing??’
Caller:            ‘It’s blank; it won’t accept anything when I  type.’
Operator:         ‘Are you still  in WordPerfect, or did you get out?’
Caller:      ‘How do I  tell?’
Operator:         ‘Can you see  the ‘C: prompt’ on the screen?’
Caller:      ‘What’s a  sea-prompt?’
Operator:         ‘Never  mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?’
Caller:  ‘There isn’t  any cursor; I told you, it won’t accept anything I type.’
Operator:         ‘Does your  monitor have a power indicator??’
Caller:      ‘What’s a  monitor?’
Operator:         ‘It’s the  thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it’s  on?’
Caller:              ‘I don’t know.’
Operator:        ‘Well, then look on the back of the monitor and  find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??’
Caller:  ‘Yes, I think  so.’
Operator:         ‘Great. Follow  the cord to the plug, and tell me if it’s plugged into the wall.
Caller:          ‘Yes, it is.’
Operator:      ‘When you were behind the monitor, did you  notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one? ‘
Caller:              ‘No.’
Operator:          ‘Well, there are. I need you to look back there again  and find the other cable.’
Caller:          ‘Okay, here it is.’
Operator:    ‘Follow it for me, and tell me if  it’s plugged securely into the back of your computer.’
Caller:        ‘I can’t reach.’
Operator:  ‘OK. Well, can you  see if it is?’
Caller:          ‘No.’
Operator:        ‘Even if you maybe put your knee on something and  lean way over?’
Caller:            ‘Well, it’s not because I don’t have the right  angle — it’s because it’s dark.’
Operator:          ‘Dark?’
Caller:            ‘Yes - the office light is off, and the only  light I have is coming  in from the window.’
Operator:          ‘Well, turn on the office light then.’
Caller:  ‘I  can’t.’
Operator:          ‘No?  Why not?’
Caller:              ‘Because there’s a power failure.’
Operator:    ‘A power …. A power  failure? Aha. Okay, we’ve got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff that your computer came in?’
Caller:    ‘Well, yes, I  keep them in the closet.’
Operator:        ‘Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and  pack it up just like it was when you got it.    Then  take it back to the store you bought it from.’
Caller:        ‘Really? Is it that  bad?’
Operator:           ‘Yes,  I’m afraid it is.’
Caller:          ‘Well, all right then, I suppose.  What do I tell them?’
Operator:          ‘Tell them you’re too damned stupid to own a  computer!’